Trusting someone is always a gamble, especially when it comes to choosing a romantic partner. Fidelity is a crucial aspect that most of us require in a relationship. However, the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" isn't always accurate. If you find yourself attracted to a partner with a history of infidelity, here are five guidelines that you can follow to make the wisest decision.
1. Consider their past behavior. Studies consistently show that past behavior is the best predictor of how a person will behave in the future. People tend to repeat their actions and patterns in relationships. If your partner has cheated in the past, the likelihood of them doing it again is high. Don't overlook this crucial fact, or you will risk getting hurt repeatedly.
2. Take note of the timing of their infidelity. The recent past is particularly crucial. If the affair happened a long time ago and never repeated, the person is far safer. In contrast, if the affair occurred during the passionate love phase of the relationship or the honeymoon phase of marriage, it's a red flag.
3. Examine their habits. Was it a one-time thing, or did they repeatedly cheat? Repeated acts of infidelity are likely to become habits that recur, especially during stressful times. Ask yourself if you're okay with a partner whose default is soothing themselves in someone else's arms.
4. Explore their insight. What reasons do they give for their infidelity? Do they make excuses or express remorse? A safer bet is a partner who takes responsibility for their actions and behavior and is committed to change. If they defend or excuse their past infidelity, be prepared for more.
5. Consider your comfort level. If you've been cheated on in the past, you may not be comfortable dating someone with a history of infidelity, regardless of how trustworthy they may seem. Living in constant fear is not loving yourself, so choose accordingly.
In summary, trusting someone is always a gamble. However, you can make an informed decision by taking a clear-eyed view of your partner, weighing the available evidence, and being honest about your own comfort level. Remember, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, so choose wisely.
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